HerStory Untold: “They Said Midlife Was the Beginning of the End—They Were Wrong”, says Siew Siew
- Team Surety
- Mar 13
- 6 min read
At 50, Siew Siew found herself staring in the mirror, noticing the fine lines that hadn’t been there before. The sleepless nights, the unpredictable hot flashes—this wasn’t the midlife she had imagined. But instead of seeing an ending, she saw an opportunity: to rediscover herself, on her own terms.
Through the highs and lows of perimenopause and menopause, Siew Siew has embraced the changes that come with this new chapter, discovering a newfound sense of purpose, resilience, and freedom.
Finding Freedom and Purpose
"For me, midlife feels like a bittersweet journey," says Siew Siew.
"Honestly, I miss my younger self - the boundless energy, the full head of black hair, the glowing skin. But there's also excitement in this phase. My kids are grown, which gives me a sense of freedom. With that freedom comes wisdom, self-reflection, and the chance to redefine my story."
This shift in perspective has been one of the most empowering parts of her midlife journey. Rather than viewing aging as a loss, Siew Siew has found a way to embrace it as an opportunity for renewal and reinvention.
The Menopause Wake-Up Call: Navigating Change with Strength
As a life coach, Siew Siew has spent years helping women through difficult transitions. But when menopause hit, even she wasn’t prepared.
"I was dealing with intense hot flashes, insomnia, and anxiety. My imposter syndrome intensified. How could I help others if I couldn't manage my own body?" she recalls.
But vulnerability, she soon discovered, turned out to be her greatest strength.
"One day during a session, I couldn't hide the sweating and discomfort. So I simply explained what was happening. To my surprise, it was incredibly freeing—not just for me, but for my clients. They appreciated my honesty and felt less alone in their struggles."
This moment was a turning point, where Siew Siew learned that embracing her vulnerability helped foster deeper connections in both her professional and personal life.
Why Menopause Conversations Matter
Menopause remains one of the least discussed health transitions, despite affecting nearly half of the population. According to the World Health Organization, nearly one billion women will experience menopause by 2025—yet many still feel unprepared.
"My generation grew up with parents who never talked about menopause or midlife," Siew Siew reflects. "We thought aging meant decline. But that’s not the case."
One of her guiding principles is to treat herself with the same kindness she would offer her daughter. "If my daughter came to me with this problem, what would I say to her? That’s how I try to approach my own struggles now."
Beyond Survival
Knowing that menopause affects half of the population, yet it remains a largely overlooked topic. Siew Siew is determined to change that.
"Menopause shouldn't be something whispered about in hushed tones," she says.
"We need to normalize the conversation. It's just like discussing cholesterol or high blood pressure. The more we talk about it, the more we empower the next generation of women."
This openness is vital, not just for women going through menopause, but for all people to better understand the journey and provide support where it's needed most.
Lessons From the Past, Wisdom for the Future
Reflecting on her earlier years, Siew Siew wishes that she had placed more emphasis on self-care. "In my 30s and 40s, I focused a lot on my career and family. But I should have paid more attention to my health - mentally, emotionally, and physically," she admits.
Her mother's untimely passing in her early 60s was a pivotal moment in her life. "It was a wake-up call that life is unpredictable. That moment shifted my priorities. I realized that family should come first, and I started thinking about what kind of legacy I wanted to leave."
As she steps into her next chapter, Siew Siew is driven by a single question: "How can I create value for others with the life I've been given?" She acknowledges that the answer is not always clear, but she embraces the journey, allowing it to unfold with patience and grace.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of Menopause
"It was overwhelming," she recalls. "The hot flashes, the sleepless nights, the hair loss—all at once. I felt exhausted, and my confidence took a huge hit. It was a time of deep emotional loss, questioning my identity, and confronting the fear of becoming 'old.'"
Using her own coaching techniques, she turned to reflective journaling to navigate the turbulence. "I had to let go of my pre-menopause self and embrace the changes. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for growth."
Love, Intimacy, and Relationships in Midlife
Siew Siew believes open communication is the foundation of healthy relationships during midlife transitions.
"We can't expect our partners to understand what we're going through without telling them," she laughs.
"Men don't have that 'sixth sense!' But open communication, explaining how we're feeling and what we need, makes all the difference."
She encourages women to speak up and advocate for themselves, especially in their relationships. "It strengthens the bond and creates an environment where both partners can support each other through this transition."
Speaking up, she says, strengthens bonds and creates a space where both partners can support each other.
The Power of Community and Friendships
Siew Siew acknowledges that menopause can be isolating, which is why building a supportive community is essential. "When I first started experiencing perimenopause in my 40s, I had no idea what was happening to my body. It was only through conversations with friends that I began to understand my symptoms and find natural remedies that helped," she recalls.
"I don't think any woman should go through this alone." She believes that having a community to share experiences with, whether it's friends, family, or even online groups, can provide comfort, reassurance, and the knowledge to navigate this phase.
Reliving Puberty?
Some compare perimenopause to reliving puberty, another phase of transformation, with its own mood swings and bodily changes. Siew Siew sees the parallel.
"Both stages of life involve body changes you can't control. You start questioning your identity and emotional landscape," she explains.
"But now, with more knowledge and self-compassion, I'm navigating this stage with more ease."
Perimenopause may bring discomfort, but it also offers an opportunity for transformation. For Siew Siew, it's about embracing change with grace and openness, rather than fighting against it.
Menopause Care in Asia: Why We Deserve Better
While menopause care has advanced, Siew Siew believes that much more needs to be done, particularly in Asia. "There's a significant gap in knowledge and training for healthcare providers on menopause care. Too many of us are left to figure it out on our own," she notes.
She hopes to see more proactive healthcare solutions that provide better education and support for women going through menopause. "We deserve better care. It's not just about surviving; it's about thriving through this phase of life."
Future-Proofing Your Health: What Younger Women Need to Know
Younger women often don't think about menopause - until it suddenly becomes their reality. "I used to think the same way," Siew Siew admits.
"But menopause can catch you by surprise. That's why it's important to talk about it now, so the next generation is better prepared, both mentally and physically."
By sharing experiences, Siew Siew hopes to equip younger women with the knowledge they need to face menopause with confidence and understanding.
Rewriting the Midlife Script
So, what does the future hold for Siew Siew?
As she embraces this next chapter of her life, Siew Siew has learned to let go of the need for a strict plan. "In the past, I'd panic if I didn't have everything figured out. But now? I'm okay with uncertainty," she says.
"I take things one step at a time, enjoying the scenery along the way, embracing the unknown with curiosity and courage."
For Siew Siew, midlife is about stepping into a new version of herself - one full of joy and possibilities. And that itself, is something worth to celebrate.
Join the HerStory Untold Community
Siew Siew's story is one of courage, resilience, and growth—a journey that reminds us that midlife is an opportunity for renewal, introspection, and deeper connection.
You are not alone.
Join her and Surety in redefining the menopause experience—one story, one lesson, one empowered woman at a time. It is where every voice is heard, every story matters, and together, we are rewriting the narrative of perimenopause, menopause and midlife!
Contact us at contact@suretysg.com to share your story!
Disclaimers: This article shares an individual’s journey and is not universal advice or experience. Content is for informational purposes only. Consult a healthcare professional for medical advice. We aim for accuracy but cannot guarantee it. Reliance on any information here is at your own risk. External links are not endorsed by us. This is not sponsored. Reader discretion is advised for topics on health.
