Today, we are featuring insights from Yoke Mei, a dynamic client success director and devoted mother of three, who has gracefully navigated the challenges of surgical menopause while redefining what it means to thrive in midlife.
Through her candid reflections, Yoke Mei shares the physical, emotional, and mental hurdles she has faced, as well as the surprising joys and renewed sense of purpose she has discovered along the way.
Her story serves as a powerful reminder that we are not alone in this journey, and that midlife can be a time of resilience, reinvention, and connection.
At 54, Yoke Mei radiates a zest for life that's infectious. Happily married and a proud mother of three, she enjoys a semi-retired lifestyle as a client success director, relishing the flexibility to pursue her passions. Crafting and organizing gatherings with friends are just a few of the activities that define her vibrant personality. But behind her cheerful demeanor lies a compelling story of resilience and adaptability as she navigates the challenges of surgical menopause.
Menopause often arrives gradually, but for Yoke Mei, it was abrupt.
After battling a severe case of endometriosis, she underwent surgery in 2020 to remove her uterus and ovaries—a decision that catapulted her into surgical menopause overnight.
"The reason for the surgery was due to a bad case of endometriosis. I had a keyhole surgery done years before, but it didn't solve the problem, so the gynecologist suggested removing 'everything' since I was done with family planning," she shared.
Facing Unexpected Physical Challenges: Frozen Shoulder
Initially, post-surgery life seemed promising. "I was able to enjoy a trimmer figure and good health—my hemoglobin levels went back to normal for once," she recalled. However, six months later, unexpected challenges emerged.
Persistent shoulder pain led to a diagnosis of frozen shoulder, a condition that severely limited her mobility. Simple tasks like washing her hair or fastening her bra became daunting. "I cried initially as it was scary not to be able to lift your arm to wash your hair and change," she admitted.
Determined to adapt without undergoing more surgery, she opted for physiotherapy, cut her hair short, and switched to front-closure bras. "In other words, I made changes to my life," she said, demonstrating her resilience in the face of adversity.
Changes one after another
Hot flashes, skin changes, weight fluctuations, and brain fog became part of her daily life.
"It didn’t hit me all at once, but the changes came one after another, so I was constantly worried and adapting," she explained.
Maintaining a cheerful disposition for her family was important to her, but she wasn't immune to moments of vulnerability. "I tried to stay cheerful so as not to affect my family, but I guess there were a couple of meltdowns that I'm not proud of," she confessed.
Redefining Priorities and Finding Purpose
Midlife prompted a profound shift in her outlook on life, work, and relationships. The loss of a dear friend to cancer served as a catalyst for change. "After seeing how my friend suffered with cancer and learned how one can derive satisfaction beyond work, I resigned from my corporate role so I can do something I am good at, something I enjoy, and also to help others," she reflected.
This transition allowed her to spend invaluable time with her friend during her final year—a period she describes with deep gratitude.
"I was able to spend more time with my friend during the last year of her life, something I am very grateful for."
Evolving Self-Care and Embracing Wellness
In navigating menopause, self-care became a dynamic process. Always on the lookout for different forms of support, she embraced physical activities like exercise classes and walks with friends.
She also sought out seminars and workshops, finding them to be outlets for new experiences. "Trying different things broadened my horizon and also helped me understand that I am not alone," she noted.
Menopause is a "project" and I am not alone
Treating menopause as a "project," she approached each challenge with creativity and determination. "I also regard menopause issues as a project now—something I just need to find creative ways to address every challenge," she said.
By engaging with others facing similar experiences, she found solace and strength.
"These experiences helped me understand that I'm not alone."
Embracing Aging with Grace
In a society that often glorifies youth, embracing aging can be challenging. For Yoke Mei, perspective made all the difference. "I have a problem keeping my belly fat, and that bothers me at times, but when I see how my friend had to fight for her survival, these physical changes in me become insignificant," she shared.
Focusing on health, meaningful relationships, and inner well-being became her priorities.
"We just need to be more selective with the people who matter to us and focus on building strong relationships and glow from within."
Discovering New Joys in Midlife
Through crafting, deepening friendships, and embracing new experiences, she continues to find joy and purpose. "I feel I am still going through menopause as new issues start to pop up, so I am still learning and just adjusting on a daily basis," she said with a positive outlook.
To Fellow Women...
Drawing from her journey, she offers heartfelt advice to other women navigating perimenopause and midlife changes:
"No matter how good or bad the situation is, it will come to an end. So enjoy while you can and embrace it when things get tough."
Her message is one of resilience and hope—a reminder that challenges are temporary, and strength can be found within.
An Ongoing Journey of Adaptation and Growth
As she continues to navigate the evolving landscape of menopause, Yoke Mei remains a testament to adaptability and inner strength. Each new challenge is met with grace and a proactive spirit, embodying the belief that life's transitions are opportunities for growth.
Through her story, Yoke Mei sheds light on the realities of surgical menopause and midlife transitions, breaking the silence that often surrounds these topics. Her journey underscores the importance of resilience, community support, and embracing change.
It is a narrative that informs and inspires, offering a beacon of hope for others on similar paths.
Join the HerStory Untold Community
Yoke Mei's story is one of courage, resilience, and growth—a journey that reminds us that midlife is an opportunity for renewal, introspection, and deeper connection.
You are not alone.
Join her and Surety in redefining the menopause experience—one story, one lesson, one empowered woman at a time. It is where every voice is heard, every story matters, and together, we are rewriting the narrative of perimenopause, menopause and midlife!
Contact us at contact@suretysg.com to share your story!
Disclaimers: This article shares an individual’s journey and is not universal advice or experience. Content is for informational purposes only. Consult a healthcare professional for medical advice. We aim for accuracy but cannot guarantee it. Reliance on any information here is at your own risk. External links are not endorsed by us. This is not sponsored. Reader discretion is advised for topics on health c